Unfortunate Dress
by Dragon'sHost
Summary: This year's post-GMG ball requires, as ever, the same unfortunate dress code. Though… not all of it is completely horrible…


**Drabble request from thefourteenthdarkone for MinMax!**

 **Prompt: "not wearing that"**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.**

* * *

"No," Minerva growled at the offending garment her friend was holding out for her. "I am not wearing that… that… monstrosity!"

It was promptly shoved into her arms. "Wear it!" hissed Lucy as Minerva continued to balk at the dress. "It's not just you - everyone has to wear the vintage outfits for this! Just like the last time, and the time before that!" Muttering under her breath, she added, "Both of which you conveniently skipped out on, if you recall."

The dark haired woman quirked an eyebrow at her blonde companion. "I had just suffered humiliating defeat at the hands of one of your teammates as punishment for humiliating _you_ , if you recall. I'm rather glad I didn't stick around for this pointless ball – it would have only further humiliated me and quite frankly I'm surprised you agreed to it. Especially since it meant you might encounter _me_. As for the second one… you skipped out on that one, as well."

Lucy shrugged helplessly. "Natsu abducted me last year after burning off all of my clothes. Year before, we'd just survived a dragon invasion. Any excuse for levity was appreciated. And you should have seen some of the things I had to wear while growing up. There really wasn't much difference."

Distaste apparent, Minerva held the heavy dress by her fingertips, as far as she could from her body. "It stinks," she flatly informed the Celestial Mage. "It smells as if it's been stored in a musty old chest full of rat droppings for the past two centuries."

"Eh…" Lucy mused on the statement, and critically appraised the clothing. "Close enough. Judging by the cut, the materials, and the colours… more like a century and a half."

"I fail to see how that makes a difference. And why I should wear the filthy thing."

"It would be rude to our hosts – who kindly provided the evening wear for us to borrow – if we didn't. Do you really believe that upsetting the royal family would be a good way to represent Sabertooth?" Lucy pointed out.

Grimacing, Minerva relented. "Fine. Can I at least have a ritualistic burning of the frock, afterward?"

"No; but I know of a nice spa in town where we can visit to smell all pretty again," the Fairy Tail mage reassured her. "Need help getting into the dress?"

"Please." Minerva huffed, turning around. "Corsets are so barbaric – how are you supposed to breathe?"

"You aren't," Lucy informed the crotchety mage as she assisted with the corset's lacing. "And they can be fun when you wear them on your own terms. But I have to agree with you otherwise."

When Lucy placed her foot in the middle of the Territory mage's back, Minerva turned her head to stare at her friend. "What are you doing?"

"You'll see. Lean forward." Minerva found herself wheezing as Lucy ruthlessly tightened the dress. "Doing good so far, Minerva!"

A high pitched, strangled gasp was her only response.

* * *

Once Minerva was prepared to Lucy's satisfaction, Minerva warily picked at a lacey cuff. "It itches," she complained. This was totally revenge for the Naval Battle. No other explanation.

Giggling, Lucy shook her head at the fearsome woman. "Wouldn't have thought you would protest this much!"

"It's lime green," Minerva pointed out dryly. "And utterly hideous."

"But it makes your boobs look amazing."

Minerva had no option but to acknowledge that fact. "True." The already hefty globes were practically being shoved in her face. She could _bury her own face in her breasts_ , thanks to the corset.

Lucy clapped her hands together. "We should go out and wow the men, now! I bet Max's jaw will drop when he sees you!"

"Yeah, in terror," Minerva grumbled, though she was definitely looking forward to seeing the sand mage despite the hideous garment she was being coerced into donning.

Pausing, Lucy fixed a knowing smirk upon her face. "Oh, that's right!" she trilled.

"What's right?" Minerva asked, as Lucy ushered her out the door.

"Nothing! Nothing at all!" the blonde chirped happily.

That sounded downright suspicious to Minerva, but she wasn't allowed an opportunity to wonder about the Celestial mage's oddities (and there were a good many, she'd discovered). Lucy looped her arm around Minerva's and dragged her to the entrance.

"Lady Minerva Orlando, of Sabertooth!" the crier announced. "Accompanied by Lady Lucy Heartfilia, of Fairy Tail!"

"Ugh," Lucy groaned as the pair entered the ballroom proper. "I wish they wouldn't just call out my last name like that. I'm going to be stuck fending off the sycophants all night, now!"

A devious smile crawled its way onto Minerva's face. "Normally, I would love to help you out, but I think I see Max coming this way…" Her boyfriend was waving excitedly at her.

Lucy pouted. "Fine. Abandon me!"

Minerva leaned in close and whispered, "I see what you meant, by the way. I disapprove of tassels on principle… but I'm loving the tight pants." At least there was _one_ good thing about the outfits tonight!

"Yes… those are definitely fun," Lucy agreed.

"Minerva!" Max greeted. "Hey, Lucy!"

"Hey, Max," Lucy returned. She released her friend and gave her a small shove forward. "Now go be a proper escort for this lovely young lady!" she commanded, tilting her head back and somehow managing to look down on the sand mage, despite his height advantage over her.

Max laughed lightly at Lucy's antics, and extended his arm to Minerva. "Shall we, then, madam?"

Rolling her eyes, Minerva placed a gloved hand upon his arm. "If I must," she huffed.

His eyes lingered a little longer than strictly necessary upon her breasts. "I like your… gloves," he stated, awkwardly and hurriedly returning his gaze to Minerva's face.

Minerva's eyes lingered a little lower on Max's anatomy in comparison. "I like your… ponytail," she replied, deeply amused when Max turned crimson in response.

Before they could depart, Lucy took a page out of Cana's book, "You know… Max is at perfect squishing height." With that, she sashayed away with a little wave of farewell, leaving two stuttering messes in her wake.

* * *

 **That was lots of fun! Ended up with far more MinLu friendship than I'd anticipated, though.**


End file.
